You don’t have to pick a lane
"Should I pick a lane?"
If you've ever asked yourself this while juggling multiple interests—creative pursuits alongside a nine-to-five, side projects while building a career, hobbies that feel too "serious" to just be hobbies—you're not alone.
I recently talked with Dr. Kimberly Murray, a psychologist, photographer, certified coach, and mom who's spent years navigating what it means to be multi-passionate without compartmentalizing herself into oblivion. Here's what she taught me about honoring all the identities you hold without burning out.
1. Integration over compartmentalization
For years, Kimberly tried to keep her identities separate. Photographer over here. Scientist over there. She'd hide her doctorate in creative circles because she worried people wouldn't take her art seriously. In academic spaces, she'd downplay her creative work.
"I became so fragmented in my own thinking about who I was," she told me.
The shift came when she stopped trying to silo everything and started looking for the through line—the common thread connecting all her roles. That analytical eye that helps her compose a photograph? It's the same skill she uses to help coaching clients see patterns and chart a path forward.
Stop asking "Which one am I?" and start asking "How do these connect?" Your identities aren't competing—they're collaborating.
2. Embrace the Both/And (Not the Either/Or)
One of the biggest myths about being multi-passionate is that you have to choose: stable career OR creative passion. Corporate job OR entrepreneurship. Parent OR professional.
Kimberly pushes back hard on this. She loves her nine-to-five and her creative work. Having both gives her freedom—one of her core values—because she doesn't have to compromise her creative vision to pay the bills.
But here's the key: she also brought creativity into her government job. She ditched the boring presentation templates for Canva designs with color and personality. She pitched a strengths-based coaching initiative that became part of the organization's work.
Before you quit everything to "follow your passion," ask: Can I bring more of myself into my current role? Test the waters. The worst they can say is no.
3. Not Everything Gets Equal Weight All the Time
This one hit me hard as a new parent.
Kimberly has a framework she uses with clients called THREAD:
T - Trust that your passions have value
H - Harmonize (integrate instead of compartmentalize)
R - Reclaim your narrative (you're not scattered)
E - Embrace seasons (some roles step forward, others retreat)
A - Align with your values
D - Design a life that's sustainable
That "E" is crucial. Not everything can have equal attention all the time. When her kids were young, motherhood took center stage. Other seasons, photography or coaching might be the priority.
"You can have it all, but not at the same time," she reminded me—channeling the Oprah wisdom we all need to hear.
Stop trying to force equal weight on everything. Ask yourself: What season am I in right now? What needs my attention most? What can step back for now (not forever)?
4. Ask for Time Before You Say Yes
Kimberly used to be a chronic yes-person. Every opportunity felt urgent. She'd say yes immediately, then regret it later when her gut caught up with her brain.
Now? She asks for 24-48 hours before responding. She checks in with her values: Does this align with freedom, creativity, sustainability, excellence? Can I show up with excellence given everything else on my plate?
If the answer is no, she has a network of people she trusts who she can refer instead. "You're still honoring the relationship," she explained. "You're not leaving them hanging."
Next time someone asks you to do something, pause. Say "Let me check my calendar and get back to you by [specific time]." Then actually check in with your values and energy before answering.
5. Slow Down to Stay Present
As a self-described Type A high achiever and recovering perfectionist, motherhood forced Kimberly to slow down. She stopped documenting every moment on her phone and started just being in those moments with her kids.
"You can capture things and hold them in your mind in such a different, more rich way than you can through your phone," she said.
Notice when you're rushing through experiences to get to an outcome. Practice sitting in the experience—whether that's time with your kids, a creative project, or just your morning coffee.
Being multi-passionate isn't about doing everything perfectly all at once. It's about finding the through line that connects your identities, embracing seasons where different things take priority, and designing a life that's actually sustainable.
You don't have to pick a lane. You just have to integrate the ones you're already in.
Connect with Kimberly
🎧 Want to go deeper?
Listen to the full episode of In Her Words to hear Kimberly share more about her journey.
