Are you squeezing too tight?
Humans don’t like surprises. We’re biologically wired to seek control - over our surroundings, our work, even our relationships. Control often arises from anxiety or fear: fear of failure, the unknown, or not being “enough”
With market instability and layoffs, that need for control can feel even more stronger.
And sure, control can be helpful - it provides structure, mitigates risk, and ensures quality. Many leaders I work with have used control to their advantage. They’ve learned how to anticipate challenges and proactively strategize solutions.
But here’s the thing: too much control can backfire.
I often use the metaphor of a balloon. The tighter you squeeze, the closer it comes to popping. Surrender, on the other hand, is loosening that grip. It’s about acceptance - by letting things be as they are instead of resisting circumstances. When you allow some space, you can return to challenges with fresh energy when the time is right.
5 Steps to Move from Control to Surrender:
Let go of the outcome: Focus on the journey instead of obsessing over the results. Set intentions for what you’d like to achieve, but remain open to alternative paths
Build trust - in yourself and others: You don’t have to carry it all alone. Delegate tasks with clarity and give others the freedom to approach things differently than you would. You’ll develop confidence in others and yourself.
Lean into mindfulness: Shift from worrying about the future to engaging with the present moment. Techniques like meditation, deep breathing, or body scans can help you stay grounded. Ask yourself: What is here right now?
Embrace curiosity: Treat situations like experiments. Let someone else set the agenda or make decisions and notice how it feels. Were you surprised by the outcome? Did you learn something new?
Tune into your body: Control is often a response to anxiety or fear. Notice where you feel the urge to control. Do you feel a tight chest or knot in your stomach? Pause and ask yourself: “What am I afraid of here?”
Trust yourself and the process
Surrender doesnt mean giving up - it means trusting yourself, others, and the journey. It creates space for growth, ease, and flow into your life and work.
Where in your life or career could you experiment with surrender this week?
